I can only recommend this. I read a book called divorce busting. It describes some of this. Do not employ the try and try again method. If you are trying to bring up the loan and she is being disinterested, attack it differently. Don't just keep asking. For example (and you have to be civil about this) you might say, "I found some interesting info regarding the refinancing. I think it will help us. What time works for you that I can share this information with you. I'll make some coffee and we can talk about it then."

In other words, kind of put the ball in her court a little bit and attack the problem a little differently. Make her a bit excited to be part of the decision process.