[quote] You said she can't understand these things, not me. You also called your wife a [censored] on wheels. That she may be but she is your wife and you are married to her. Feeling that way about the woman you are married to isn't a great place to be for either of you. It might have something to do with how she is behaving.

If she is showing no interest as you say, I would say she DOES understand perfectly well and her way of dealing with the stress of it all is to not deal with it at all.

When you say you want her to be part of the solution, you are not saying what the solution is that you are sitting down to explain to her. If you are continually sitting down to explain the problem, she will not want to hear it any longer if you don't also have some options.

And I get the picture perfectly clearly thank-you. If you are at risk of foreclosure, you maybe should ask her which solution she thinks is best, or tell her YOUR preferred solution and ask for feedback on that. [/quote]

I appreciate the time you spent responding to my issue, however there isn't a word you've offered that either I am not aware of or can be regarded as helpful. Let me tell you why...

First of all our financial position is precarious, like a lot of others. I am trying to be proactive because whether or not she gets involved, the situation must be dealt with. Finances and food on the table are not things you play around with because of feelings. Most banks don't care when it comes to paying mortgages. The fact is, as a wife and partner she needs to be a part of the solution and I have invited her to do so. I guess you didn't get that part. And oh by the way I have, in detail, explained the problem and offered possible scenarios in which to solve them. If there's anything more I could be doing in a tangible basis, I'd love to know.

Secondly you seem to infer that she may be choosing not to deal with it as a coping mechanism, is that right? And you obviously think I'm stupid by stressing that I should ask her which solution is the right one, like I haven't considered that yet.

Lastly, when someone goes on to a forum like this, there is an obvious plea for help from those who have been in the same shoes. Your smug, cavalier attitude suggests to me that either you have no clue about relationships or never had one. I have referred to her as a ____ on wheels simply because she acts like one. That must come as a shock to you. ;-)))

Bottom line is, helpful is good. I'm sure you would want that if your situation called for it. Speaking out of context, knee jerk reactions and an obvious bias are not helpful.