Your situation sounds familiar (although, not exact) to my own. My wife is a bit controlling, a bit narcassistic, a bit perfectionist, and a lot moody. Sometimes I feel I need to walk on egg shells around her and it makes communication rather painful to say the least. I can try talking to her about real estate one time and get the "I'll play dumb and not interested" wife one minute and the next she is verbally assaulting me for not talking to her about it. It's like I have to flip a coin to see if she's responsive to discussing something or if I'm in for another verbal bombing. Some of the things I need to talk to her about can't wait until "next week" or even tomorrow - things that need a decision RIGHT NOW. Usually what happens then is I make the decision and then have to hear the excessive nagging some time later because she wasn't "included" on the decision.

I used to just play the passive husband and not do anything at all (as best I could) as I figured I'd probably get an earful no matter what path I take (i.e., 'damned if you do and damned if you don't'), but then I started taking the more assertive route and figure if she's unwilling to discuss the matter with me to h*ll with her if she starts nagging later about not "including" her.

It can become a no-win situation.