[quote]
I wonder if kids get better over time once
the situation is gone.
[/quote]

Bringing back this older thread because I think I may be able to give some insight into this question (as the adult son of an abused mother).

I cannot speak for everyone in this situation, but I can say that, although not perfectly "adjusted," my siblings and I did recover for the most part. Of the four of us, all three graduated from college. Two of us have masters degrees, and my older brother is currently doing doctoral studies. We lived, and we thrived, thanks to the support of a wonderful mother. She is the strongest person I know.

None of us are settled or happy, we all carry scars to a greater or lesser degree. But, I do not think we are any worse off than others in our age group (20's and 30's) who did not live through that situation. My brother has some anger issues, but has come a long way. I am on my way to divorce, but aside from her shoving me once while intoxicated, thankfully there was no physical abuse on either side.

I can also offer insights on growing up with a deadbeat dad if anyone is interested. Last I checked, my father was top 10 in the state of Ohio.