[quote]One question that I'm just not sure of. Aren't kids in abusive families abused physically also? [/quote]

Not always. Sometimes it's a father/female thing...where the husband feels he should have complete control over the female or wife in the family so if there is a son in the family then he does not necessarily get abused but instead is shown how to control the woman.
I also thought for a long time that the abuse in my family wasn't done to the kids...I found out later that it was hidden from me by both my ex and by the kids who would face further repercussions from their father if they told me. I don't know why I was able to put up with the abuse my ex dolled out to me, but I knew that I was biding my time until I could get out...however never would I have put up with him doing the stuff to my kids that was later disclosed.