What you are feeling is normal. The average times an abuse victim leaves the offender is 11 times, before actually making the break for good. It is very confusing, one momemt they are loving you, saying your the best thing since slice cheese and the next they are saying that the bug under the rock is better than you. You are not sure what you feel, what to think and sometimes what is happening.

A friend suggested to me the book "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft. Also look into counseling-calling the domestic abuse center should be able to help with this.

What you are feeling is normal. You are a beautiful, smart and intelligent woman. You are strong and can make it on your own. You are special and was not created to live this way. There is happiness out there for you. Just a little pep talk. Good Luck.