*****Jersey Girl wrote: “Now - outside looking in - this did not start just after you were married. This has escalated too fast. You need to step back and figure out where you are in the cycle.”*****

*****gigi wrote: “what was it that caused the two fo you to NOT live together early in the marriage?”*****

I am just understanding that this started way before - he pressured me heavily in the beginning to see only him (even though he was still seeing ex-girlfriends I recently learned). He couldn't wait till June to get married, when my daughter was out of school and we could move to DE to be with him. Anytime I brought up changing the date - I got interrogated about whether I wanted to be with him. We married in Feb planned to move together in June. Then suddenly he needed to leave the house he was renting - the mold he had been living with for a year and a half got to be too much now that I was there with good credit and money - so he begged and pushed for me to by a house. When I asked anything about his credit, asked for us to sit and review both our financial situations - I got an argument and him yelling at me that I didn't need to know his business. So now I have a 200K mortgage in my name only, and 90% of the bills are in my name. I buckled and relocated officially in May to avoid paying duplicate bills because he offered no help.

I disagree that my daughter is controlling the house – she would be perfectly fine to stay in her room for the short time she is home and awake (she’s out of the house from 7:30 – 5:30 and in bed by 8:30)– so all this fuss is over the three hours. My husband has a problem with her being in her room or her being where he can’t get access to her. When all this started to focus on my daughter, all this was put on her, she was put on punishment for lying, I immediately got her into counseling – she’s been in counseling for 3 weeks, and I’d been a lot more strict with her, forcing her to interact with my husband. She would try to be fine around me – but if I wasn’t there – she would hide. After I saw my husband jump towards her, acting like he was going to hit her, and then sneak away, I reconsidered what was going on.

And I know the allegations - if untrue - would be bad for him, but if he is so worried about that, then why not participate in counseling? And even if he didn’t agree with the method – why do everything he can to not support the assignments from the counselor? And if my daughter is totally making this up then where's the concern for why she is doing this? This is a man with a running joke that if a CPS worker ever came to his door for beating his child, he wouldn't go to jail for beating the child, but for beating up the worker that came to him with that stupid sh**.