Alright, I do not post here much anymore but Chef is jumping into the nightmare of a thread!

I will start with Sophie:

First and foremost I want to express to you that NO ONE here is judging you. You came here, you posted, you asked for opinions.

Hitting someone or even attempting to hit someone is wrong. One incident in your lifetime does not make you a bad person, but refusing to admit that it was a mistake is something entirely different.
Jada suggested AM classes; I highly recommend them as well. I am also going to add that you should get yourself into some victim’s counseling. Stop creating reasons not to seek help. Thinks about it this way……you are in a custody battle…you are going through a nasty divorce and are going to have prove the abuse you suffered in order to keep your children away from their father. Having a DM arrest is going to weaken your creditability, but seeking help for your anger before you have been court ordered to do so will help you. The judge will see that you are attempting to make a bad situation better. Seeking help will sway a judge much farther than words alone.

You marriage sounds awful and we all sympathize with your heartache. This forum is full of people who have gone through many of the same things you have. Stop being so defensive and listen to their advice. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is look inside of ourselves and admit guilt. Take a deep, deep look inside your self. Re-read this entire post. It is not full of judgment; it is full of tough-love. Everyone needs a dose of reality once in a while. Attempting to hit you stbx was wrong, coming here, telling your story and getting advice is the best thing for you right now.

You mentioned several times that you are pregnant and have children. When I was going through all of the pain of my divorce, I wrote myself a mantra. It may sound crazy but it really, really helped me. I posted it on my mirror and as I got ready for work each morning I would read it to myself. It helped me to stay focused on what I needed to get through each day and each step pf the divorce process, and not simply fall on the floor and succumb to self pity. I attached a portion of it below. These are words that helped me, maybe your words would be different, but the principal is the same.

I vow to look back on the past and all of my marriage with pride. I did not destroy my marriage and my relationship with him alone. Whatever good times I had, or bad times I suffered helped to shape me into the person I am today, and the better person I will be tomorrow.

My last vow to myself is to first and foremost remember that I am a mother. That my pain and suffering should not reflect on her life at all. I vow that when my daughter becomes an adult, and reflects on this time period in her own life, she will be proud of the way I handled myself.

Finally Sophie, I want to reiterate to you that this forum can be your lifeline. We are all standing in line ready to support you through the pain and fear that the future holds for you. You may not always like the advice that has been given, but it is always given with the best intentions.

And now I move on to TiredOfNagging. Actually, I am not going to address my comments to him, but to every person here who has responded to him.

This poster seems to thrive on chaos and drama, more than thrive actually; he seems to feed off of it. Every time he posts, someone responds, and he keeps coming back. It is a vicious cycle and it needs to stop. Responding to his posts only feeds his ego.

Arguing with some people is like standing in front of an ocean and yelling at the waves to stop! It just does not work. Bow out, walk away, bite your tongue, whatever, but do not feed into his toxins.

This has been a long post and I am stepping off of my soapbox now!
Cheffie