honey im sorry for what you r feelin right now but i to was in a abusive relationship and there are times that i still miss him,but now i look at it like this,even though ther are times that i miss him,and i am lonely ,i not scared of what is gonna happen next or when he walks out the door who is he with. and when he does walk in the door what is it gonna b this time verbal os phisical. just hang in there babe,be strong but you must let him go,the hurt and the pain is not worth it