Hi im a mother of 4 2 of which are not my husbands childern their age 11 8 5 and 4 we have been married for 7 yrs and it has always been one thing or another with drinking drugs dui(3) and lie after lie I was the one who thought I could be the one to save him and I relized after 5 yrs that i couldnt but that just fueled his fire and like a kid he would rebel and blame me saying things like my attitude was the reason he would leave and go on a bing well I had enough and got a restraining order on him and he was forced to leave the home we did not even speak for 6 months during that time he spiraled down into a drunken stupper from what I was hearing the restraing order was eventually lifted to make things a little less complicated I soon got wind that he wsa dating a woman that has been a friend of his family for 18yrs I was so hurt how could they both go there she was at our wedding for gaud sake we also spent every 4th together with the rest of the family so I decided to confront him on the issue thats when it all started again he lied through his teeth and said the things I had always wanted him to say I was so fooled we got back together and it has been one thing after another he got right back into drinking like a fish and pulling his typical stuuf like getting so drunk that he would pas out and urinat all over the place he then bought I motorcycle picked a fight and took off 6hrs later the er called he wrecked I got there to find him a mess 2 broken vertibres a dislocated foot with numerous bad wounds i stood by his bed side for a wk. He was eventually released and I had do all the care for him along take 4 kids to school etc. He told everyone that this was it he had finaly seen the light.I wasnted to believe him so bad but I knew his injurys were the onlything holding him back and I was right 3 wks later He picked a fight and away he went 2 days Iam so mad at myself he is ruining everything and again I am ready to get out of this again,my poor kids but were better off. But now where do I start he wont leave and says that Im giving up on everything throwing it away and somtimes I feel that its true and it is breaking me down to nothing I am having anxiety and feel I need counselng to help me get through this.