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Here's the crazy, messed up part. I love him to death and can't imagine my life without him. I don't want to be without him. He's not here right now and I miss him like crazy. We had so many good times.
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I always find this hard to imagine, being a man. Why are women (usually young women) so attracted to men who abuse them and/or "bad" men? I continuously read stories about women such as yourself, who realize they are being abused, but are still attracted to the man, or women who have no relationship with such a person, but find them attractive. My 18yr old daughter is in such a relationship now, and would rather sever ties with those who REALLY love and care for her (her family) than with her abusive, druggy, can't hold a job, bad boy, fiance. And my sister told me her daughter still feels attracted to an ex-boyfriend that did drugs and is now in jail. I just can't understand it. And when many women hook-up with a man who wants to give them the world, who adores them, who loves them with all their heart and would never abuse them, they end up throwing it all away. I just can't understand it - or maybe it's so complex, there is no explanation.