It's difficult to explain. I don't think for me it's because I was attracted to him because I thought I could fix him. I think the good parts were just so good, that I rationalized away the bad. My husband has a lot of good attributes. He's a good father, a good provider, he rarely drinks, he loves to go out and do things, he can be remarkably sweet at times and very affectionate, and in a lot of ways he's my best friend. His biggest problem is he doesn't know how to handle stress, and he reaches the point where he breaks. There are many things that he doesn't do - such as control all the money, restrict me from having friends, keep me locked in the house... he's not controlling at all. He just lets things eat him up inside and he doesn't know how to handle it when he reaches that breaking point. I've overlooked a lot of it because I understand where a lot of it comes from now... he grew up seeing it. He thought as long as he wasn't pummeling me, it wasn't really abuse. His mom (also a victim of abuse) has also given him advice that in my opinion, is very bad... i.e., it's not like you punched her or anything, or even saying that I can't prove that the pictures of the bruises were of bruises he gave me. She tries to protect her children - which I understand to an extent - except it does more damage than good. Both are sons have been abused and abusive, and her youngest son is on that same path (has threatened to kill her, etc). So for me - seeing how great he is with me and understanding what drives it, makes me see that it's almost like a sickness that needs to be overcome... and I think he's one of the ones who if he decided to ever take responsibility for it, he is strong willed enough to bring about change. So for that reason I have stuck around... because I love him, I see the good in him, and I see the boy who was hurt and abused and just needs someone to love him and help him.... all things that appeal to my primary nature which is a desire to nurture.

This is what I've gathered from my own introspection. It may not apply to every situation.