[quote]
Secondly, in some odd way, me and my ex will always be family. The further I get away from the divorce, the more I see that having had children together, it will always be so. As family, I feel an odd sense of wanting to not drag us (albeit split) through the mud.

My negative comments and gossipy tidbits became carrion for vultures looking for dirt. They reflected badly on the ex, sure, but they also did on me and my kids. Yuk.

While I don't punish myself and do understand what I did, I wished I'd kept my mouth shut and taken the high road.

My two cents from down the road.

Love,

Mari [/quote]

If it makes you feel better Mari, I too have come to the realisation that I will always be stuck, in one way or another with the ex. A big grey cloud of a thought, but I am because he is the father of my children and they love him too.

But the outcome of your situation would have been no different had you kept your mouth shut or not.

Here's why. I have pretty much taken the high road with my ex. Sure, I have vented all over the place on this forum and must of made a record number of posts in the shortest time ever. Because I vented here and not to any friends or even family.

But my husband has managed to do things and say things over the years to the point that now we are separated, other people feel free to finally talk about it.

It gets back to my husband who regularly accuses me of having told people about his rotten behaviour. I've told no one (except you patient people here). People who have seen it for themselves are doing the talking and explaining. They feel they need to even though I wish they wouldn't.

The same would've happeend with you. Even if you'd said nothing your ex would have been 'exposed' anyway. So I wouldn't worry about it at all. Plus your ex had an affair. That would've really hurt and been hard to say nothing about.