Confusing you bet!!! You have described the last 2 years of my marriage. My stbx had moved down into the spare room as we became further and further apart. When we did spend time together it was on his terms. We had sex when he wanted it, he pretty much made the family room his room and we were allowed to be there with him on his terms otherwise I was expected to be upstairs and he would stay down until invited. Despite all this he insisted that he loved me and did not want to divorce so I held on to the smallest of hope that he would work through his issues and I would work through mine and love would be enough. Love has turned into hate and the issues didn't go away for me until he did. It took him leaving to finally admit that he was the source of my unhappiness and depression for the last several years.

Ask yourself if you could erase the pain and longing(because I still have those despite all the abuse and the sadness of the last 2 years)and look at your separation objectively are you better emotionally with her gone. Are you a better person with her out of your life than you were with her in your life. If you can say yes then you must let her go and for your own sanity I would recommend breaking the ties.

Christine