Patty,
I stop by here from time to time and saw your post and just wanted to tell you that I was where you are now a year ago. Your life is topsy-turvy right now and you are going to experience these feelings often. Every "first" you have without your husband is another ugly feeling in the pit of your stomach. The pain is unbearable at times and you feel as if you cannot go on without him. The lonliness creeps in, the inability to eat, the depression, the feeling of just being lost in life. But then one day you open your eyes and realize that you are going to make it, your life will go on and you will survive this horrible thing called divorce. It takes a long time to heal from this, so don't push yourself into rushing this along. You will overcome this in your own good time and you will be a stronger person for it. If anyone told me I would be happy again a year ago I would never have believed them. But you know what, I am happy again, I am living life with a smile again. There are days when I feel overwhelmed with living on one salary and trying to make ends meet, but I am doing it and I feel I am in a better place then when I was married. You too, will feel happy in life again. Just don't be so hard on yourself. And next year when you look back on this journey you will be amazed at the woman you have become!!