Malone, you are right, it does help to see those stages written out again. I am clearly in the depression stage. I feel sad and anxious, but I also know that it is over and that once the grief is lessened that I will be able to accept that it is over. I keep telling myself that I miss him so much, then I think about what it was like for the past few years and there really isn't much to miss. I miss the dream of what I hoped for. That dream will never happen with him, and probably never could have. But that doesn't mean that I am done dreaming, it just means that it is much harder to trust that you will ever get the chance again. I am terrified of being alone for the rest of my life, but I know that is a very real possibility. I think that much of my grief is about that very fear.

Patty