There have been threads where it almost feels as though some would like to run the "cheaters" out of town.
Hate to disappoint, but I'm hanging out for a while longer.

I do have a question though. And I ask because I have a genuine and well-meaning motive. My BF, his X, and I are all attempting to remain civil and friendly. I'm not as insensitive to her as some would like to think. His X is not insensitive to my situation either (but she knows many more details than I put out here, too).

I just can't feel what she feels. Likewise, she can't feel what I feel, or maybe she can as it came out of the woodwork during their divorce that before she met my BF/her X, she had a relationship with a married man.

It makes for some interesting discussion at times, and only once have we had to stop and say "okay, this isn't going anywhere. We need to agree to disagree."

The label of "cheater" and/or "cheatmate" is such that it implies a complete undesirable individual, or unrepairable damaged goods.

For those who wear the victim badge, has the thought ever occurred that being a victim implies damaged goods? Why is it a victim can be repaired, but a cheater can't?

Cheaters have been defined in various threads as selfish. Wouldn't it be just as selfish to pin that victim badge on every day? What message do you send to your children (if you have them) in doing so? What benefit do you derive from it?