I'm one of those people who DON'T see cheating in black and white. I'm not programmed that way. I just see multiple shades of grey - from pale grey to dark grey when it comes to people.

Just on Friday I had lunch with a man who suddenly told me how he'd cheated on his wife during his marriage. (He's an ex business colleague in his 60's who is like a father and mentor to me). I'm not sure why he told me and was surprised he did, but I guess at some time in your life you just want to talk to someone about it.

Believe it or not, he was however a very loving husband to his wife, a good provider and devoted father to his children.

Then there is the cheater who cheated on a dear and close friend of mine. The sleaze bag guy who invented a truly woeful reason for skipping off on a 'boy's trip' two weeks after his wife had just given birth to their first child by cesearean, whose mother had died suddenly two days BEFORE she gave birth.

His selfishness was breathtaking to me and still is to this day. He ripped her off constantly with money, and ripped her and his baby son off in the divorce settlement.

I know there are those on this forum who will feel differently to me and I accept that.

But in these two examples I see a man who was was a good father and husband but at times disappointed them for his own reasons. And then I see a despicable human being of a cheater in the man who cheated on my friend, her dead mother and his baby son. One I accept, the other I cannot set eyes on without wanting to tell him what I think of him.