I have an idea. Why don't we send all the cheaters to the island where they used to put all the lepers? I mean, you know, since they obviously have no redeeming qualities at all.

Jada, I don't know your situation any more than you know mine or most of the other people on this site. And many of us cheaters have learned a very valuable lesson from our selfish actions. But to say that because a person cheated makes them a non-redeemable member of society is ridiculous. I was raised with the notion that ALL people can seek forgiveness for their actions if willing to learn from the mistake.

I'm well aware of the failure rate of relationships that stem from affairs. But to live the rest of my life in fear of what may come is ludicrous. I would rather have 2 years with the woman I had an affair with, than another 20 with the person I was previously married to.

Yes, no doubt, I should have manned up and ended the marriage if I was unhappy BEFORE having an affair. But how convenient for you or anyone else that you never lived inside my head, or for that matter, my marriage. It's infinitely easier to sit on the sidelines and judge if it's not YOU in the game.

I learned a lot about who I am, and more importantly, who and what I DON"T want to be in the future. What I did WAS selfish, and caused great harm. I'm a better man and person today because of it.

Labels SUCK! I would be willing to bet that there isn't a person here that hasn't done something they are not proud of, or that caused another person harm or pain. Wouldn't it be a shitty world if we all lived with the labels others have given us, and couldn't redeem ourselves in the process?

I had an affair. It's something I did, NOT who I am.