To Cubsfan,
You know...it doesn't make it any easier if the you did man up and end the marriage because you wanted to cheat. My stbx still denies any physical affair from happening at the end of our marriage. But, he DID have an emotional affair and consumated the act after we separated. I still view this as cheating. Then he dumped her. I was a good wife to my stbx. I didn't get and will never get why he RAN instead of fighting for a marriage that could of held so much promise. If you make a vow and there is no emotional or physical abuse, alcoholism, or affairs, you should keep to that vow and at least try to work it out with the person you are with through counseling and understanding. My stbx was and is selfish and is having a life crisis and decided to end our marriage without even trying to work on it because he had an itch to scratch and wanted to once again, embrace his youth. So...even if you would of ended the marriage so that you could turn around and cheat with whoever you were emotionally involved with, it doesn't make it any better. But, that's my two cents and that's my situation. Cheating is cheating, whether it's physical or emotional, it's wrong and as Jada said, it is selfish and self-serving. Yes, it can be forgiven but at the same time the act itself is WRONG. And, it inflicts so much pain on the other person. And that is WRONG. That is why it is selfish. Because there is no thought of the other person involved in the marriage. But, I guess if you make an avid attempt to change and you don't repeat it in the future, then you can redeem yourself.