I think both your and my situations are similar, age, marriage length, and of course those nasty bouts of what I call "What's it all about, Alfie?" Those are the times it appears that all of life's milestones are behind me and I'm left to navigate through my remaining years alone.

I'm not sure what the state of your previous marriage was. The past 2 years of separation, divorce has slowly opened my eyes to what exactly my marriage was. And it wasn't good. But I worked very dilgently at pretending and fooling myself that all was well. That in itself is alot of work. Along with the side effect of not being able to be who you really are.

I find I'm coming to a place where I'm finding out that I have some pretty good qualities and living honestly is THE only way to go. It brings a level of contentment that I hadn't experienced in years.

What is on/off switch from sad, lonely, 3 dollar bill to contentment? I force myself to get out and do things. Mingle with people that I don't know very well and be myself. I am usually very pleasantly surprised. There are really nice people out there. Sure, many are married couples (even a couple of gay friends). But they can be fun, and they have problems, too. Nothing like a recently divorced person to get them to open up. People are people and EVERYONE has problems and we are not alone in that. But there is nothing like taking a chance, ending up making a few new friends to have a good yuk with.

In case your thinking I don't have any opportunities to get out and meet people..I've been there and done that. If I find out there is some kind of event I want to attend, I start looking for people to meet up with. I even joke about it, hey fifth wheel looking for 4 others. Sometimes I'm not successful and end up not doing anything. But when I do, I feel so independant and in control of my life. At this point of my 're-emergence' that is very, very, important.

Hope you give this a try, not-so-happy.