Lacy, I hear ya. I'm in exactly the same boat (substitute cocaine as the primary substance). After years in such a sick relationship, your mind is warped (or so everyone keeps telling me :)) I go from wanting to call and scream at him, to wanting to call and beg him to come home. It's really insane. If you're able to do the no contact thing, I hear that helps.

Only been a couple of weeks for me, so I'm probably not the one to give inspiration - but I certainly found Al Anon to work in addition to this support group.