...or am I living in the "Twilight Zone"?

I'll try to be brief:

07/07/07 - I come home to find stbx in bed together (in my marital home) with my "ex" P.O.S. cousin. Slam him to the floor, break his ribs, choke him, and somehow manage to not crush his skull - she keeps kicking me while calling the police - they tell me I have 2 options - leave voluntarily or go to jail (that's not 2 options!!)

For about 2 months (all the while she refuses to take my calls), I (in hindsight) humiliate myself and beg/grovel for her to go to counseling with me and salvage our marriage.

I lost the anger when my brain cells came back to life, and have since lost all feelings, good or bad for her.

So this afternoon, she leaves a 5 minute voice mail (we have spoken just once outside the courtroom in April, and she was heartless) in almost a year. She would like to get together with me to talk about the possibility of a mutual "dismissal" of the divorce she filed.

Sorry, in my book adultery is something that my values see as "permanent" and unrepairable. I will NEVER return her call, and could NEVER touch her again, not even with a 10 foot long "Swiffer".

UNBELIEVABLE!!! Guess the "Honeymoon" with BF has hit some rough times. NO CONTACT, NO HOW, NO WAY, NOT EVER!!! She has been pushing for this divorce for almost 11 months to the tune of pretty much everything I ever worked for and thousands of dollars in legal fees - NOW, she would like to "talk".

One of us is on another "planet", and I really don't think it is me!!!