He's not my son. My stbx is my second husband and I am his third wife. I have 2 kids from my first marriage and his son is from his second wife. We have no children together. So, because they don't live near me, I probably won't have any relationship with them. On the other hand, my granddaughters have accepted my stbx as their grandfather since birth. They live nearby and he will continue to be involved with them and he will be invited to family events. He has actually been more involved with my kids than he has with his own son, but that is changing now. Having all these "step" relationships can get very complicated and also can add to the sense of loss as you are not only losing your spouse, but probably most of his family as well. For example, the only one in his family who acknowledged my 65th birthday was his mother, who is 93 years young. His sister, son, etc. simply ignored it.

Patty