Hi Lost. Welcome to the forum. Sorry you have to be here. I think I have been where you are right now. My stbx was also ex military in the Canadian Army. He was medically discharged only 2 years after we were married with PTSD and a head injury. And really my life has been hell ever since. He stopped being the man I loved years ago with his injury and he has been cold and hostile and demanding ever since. He also wanted sex when he wanted it but the intimacy was forever gone. I held on for 13 years until he started having an affair with someone out of town and he also gave me the gift of telling me 4 days before Christmas too.

It took him leaving(I doubt I ever would have)and lots of time away with no contact plus lots of posts here and talks with friends and family to finally see there is a lot more in life and in marriage and that I deserve it. Right now I can't thank him enough. And even without him I am so much happier than I have been in years.

The only downside has been the financial headlock he has me in and keeps tightening but I think soon the courts will be helping me with that too.

I wish you luck. Even if he won't go with you to counselling you should go anyway because it can only help you to find yourself and really discover what you can and can't accept in your marriage.

PM me anytime you like and I hope you got some sleep.

Christine