Lonely-

I can't express how sorry I am that you are in this situation. However, you have made some important steps that I don't think you are giving yourself credit for.

Did you notice in your post how you included a lot of very poor personality traits about your stbx at the end of the post? That's a good thing. You are trying to get your brain to communicate with your heart that your stbx is NOT the person you really deserve to spend the rest of your life with. Honestly, HE slept with THREE other people while you were still married to him! That is BAD news. But the worst of it all is the drinking problem. Those problems get worse as time goes on, and you can't fix those! He has to fix those.

You are in the denial stage right now. That is ok. I was there for a LONG time. You may want to work it out, but you need to realize that he needs to want it too, and he doesn't. You need to start to take care of YOU and your child.

You will need to go to NO CONTACT. That means no communication except that relating to business and your child. Do NOT express your emotions to him. That is how you start to move on.... or so I'm told.

I'll be honest with you. I'll be bouncing off of the walls soon here. My stbx will be moving out of my life in about a week. I don't want her to leave, but I have to let her go. The D is happening, and there is nothing I can do about it.

It is a hard fact to accept. But you must accept it.

Keep posting. We are here for you.