This has been the worst week since stbx left in January. Had to go through everything in house getting ready for yard sale and moving. So many triggers for memories that are now part of my past. Lots of tears. Then found out that my buyer is having problems getting her loan approved, won't have an answer until later this week. More tears and a ton of anxiety. Stbx was here all day Friday cleaning out the garage and helping get ready for yard sale. Yesterday, during the yard sale he told me that he had to leave around noon, which he hadn't told me before and I asked him where he was going and he admitted that he is dating someone and they were going to a swimming party in Malibu! I am here dismantling our life together and he is going with a woman to a pool party. I held back most of the tears until he left. I did manage to let him know that he has been procrastinating too long on filing for divorce. He paid the lawyer in January and said that he was going to file, but has done nothing since then. I told him that if he is dating, I need to have the protection of a divorce settlement, NOW!

To top off this wonderful week, my daughter, who has been too busy with her own life to help me at all, and has basically told me to get over it and stop crying, hasn't offered me any help and I found out last night that she wasn't at home because she was helping her exboyfriend/hairdresser move into his new home.

I am grateful for my friends' support, because without them , and all of you, I would be truly alone. I can't wait to get out of this house and on with my new life.

I am supposed to move on the 19th, but until my buyer's loan is approved, I am in total limbo, surrounded by boxes I have already packed and not knowing if the sale is going forward, though I do believe that it will be worked out within the next few days. If it isn't, I will have to put all of my packed things in storage and get ready to put the house back on the market. The one good thing, is that there is very little that could make me feel worse than I do right now.

Sorry to sound so whiny, but I really am in the tank.

Very Pained Patty