When I talked to her this weekend, the subject of us came up and it stayed there only a minute, because she all the sudden focused on how she is a terrible mother, how she is 32 and have never had a full time job, how she feels helpless. I realize that her focus is on her and nothing is changing that and I am okay with everything. Last night I had a huge tickle fight with my four kids and we had a blast...but the hardest part is once I put them in bed and I am alone once again. That is when things get hard and that is when negative self images come into play. The wounds are still fresh and I know that I will heal. But that does not ease the pain right now.