I have this instinct that says, and I can't figure out why, that it's not right to keep it from him that you're getting nasty e-mails that are likely from his girlfriend. He may not realize what a nutcase, immature chick he's hooked up with. He may have thought he nipped that stuff in the bud a while back. He deserves to know the truth of why you went ahead and filed, waht is going on that makes you so cold and angry and sure that he's still carrying on.

What he does with that information is another matter altogether. Let HIM figure it out that the notes are coming from the girl. Don't let him try to give you a snow job about it, say it doesn't matter at all, but that someone is clearly out to get him, to ruin his marriage, and whether it's his girlfriend or some misguided stranger doesn't matter. What does matter is that he needs to know that someone is out to mess with his life and what they're doing is making ia a whole lot harder for you to continue to be friendly and sweet about the whole thing. So HOWEVER he chooses to handle it is his own business, but to leave you out of it.

This stuff smacks of JUST the kind of drama that a 20-something year old would think is appropriate.

Who knows, if you just let him kwno what's up and don't let him focus on it as a thing he needs to convince you is untrue, but let him figure it out for himself, he MIGHT figure out that he's hitched his hopes on a flighty, dramatic, underhanded child... and while that kind of thing may be fun at first, it's not something he may want to have in the long term, and he might just decide to do the right thing as a result of knowing the WHOLE truth about what's happened and WHY you are re-thinking the amicable thing.