allthumbs,

I hear you. I also disagree with Mr. Slick. Forgiving can be a real bear. My s2bx:
1. Broke my heart
2. Broke up my family
3. Is breaking up my financial security
4. May be destroying my dream of staying in this community because I may have to sell.

Other than that, I don't have a beef with her.

I mentioned here about a week ago how I sent her that "Deep peace" thing. THAT WAS HARD! I really didn't want to. But, when I sent it I meant it.

And it has been freeing for me.

The Good Book says: Do not return evil for evil, but overcome evil with good.

My own experience laid this out in spades. By wishing her what I craved and lacked most - inner peace - I was able, finally, to approach my own peace.

You don't have to embarass yourself to try this out. Just try on the idea of wishing her the best. Work through that as distasteful as it may be (I know!). Then actually wish her the best in your mind. Send it out into the "ether" (Wishland) and let it go.

Repeat as necessary.

You don't have to agree with her. You don't have to get back together with her. But, wishing her the best loosens your demand for justice - thus opening you to forgiveness.

You MAY get to the point where you can voice your blessing to her sincerely.

It ain't easy. I felt like a little kid being forced to take my medicine. It still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I can see I have more work to do.

On top of all the stuff you have to deal with you have to also forgive her. It ain't fair! But the medicine is the only way you'll get well.

Deep breath. Small prayer. Then swallow hard.

You're not alone.

Tom