Ferg I did sit down and writer her a letter and after 3 weeks of her not reading it I just threw it away. I asked her several times to read it and she always said maybe later. The more time passed the more I felt that the feelings I was feeling now were different from what I had written then. She has told me again and again in the last several months that she doesn't like me anymore and she is only living here because of her friends. Now that things are not going well in that area I wonder how long it will be before she decidesto bail and go live with her father.

Make no mistake, I don't think she will tolerate it well if she does do that , but I am dreading her making that choice.

Julia I can honestly say I never in my wildest dreams expected these kind of changes in my daughter when I look back at our relationship at 7 years of age. She and I have always been close and until the last few years we were very much alike. Since puberty hit though she seems to have veered far off to the opposite extreme of the life I lived out. Instead of shy and caring and somewhat overweight and invisible like I was, she is a gorgeous blond haired cheerleader who is always in the most popular crowd and is opinionated and pushy with her friends. She has no tolerance for mistakes or slights against her and she can be cruel and unforgiving when she feels slighted.(Most of these traits mimic her father) It is very hard to watch her becoming someone who seems to have little regard for anyone but herself(although they tell me that is the defintiion of "teenager").

I guess I feel so helpless because I made so many of the decisions on where to live and go to school based on what seemed to be best for her by putting her in place where she at least had some good friends and now everything is a mess again and the kids where we are moving to are now the source of her stress instead of the kids in our old neighborhood like last year. I can't win!!!!

Christine