Hello everyone. My name is Andie and I have been on Hiatus from this site for about a year. I was separated in December 06, and my divorce will be final in a few weeks. I am in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful man, and my life has turned around 180 degrees since I ended my marriage after 22 years.

I see all new names on this forum, and that is a good thing. It means that the stages of recovery do exist and that this forum has set out to do the things it intended. I learned about those stages here, from the wonderful people on this forum who are no longer here, but many of whom I keep in contact with to this day, through phone calls, e-mails, cards and letters.

The stages of recovery are these:

1. You will listen to other peoples stories.
2. You will share your stories and ask for support.
3. You will reach out to help others.

When you have completed these stages, no matter how long it takes, you will leave this forum. It is a security blanket that you will hold dear, depend on, desperately need, and then one day you will put it away, but you will never forget it, and you will know it is there if you ever need it.

I was asked by a local church (one I'm not affiliated with)to start a support group in my town. I happened to meet the pastor of this church and we began talking about my situation, and how I recovered so well. He was impressed enough with my outlook and a year later, called out of the blue saying he remembered our conversation and would I like to do this. I agreed and our first group is tonight. I mentioned this forum to him, and I will be passing out this website to the members. I am not a psychologist or counselor, just someone who survived and is proud of the means in which I took to survive. I attribute a great deal of that survival to this forum.

I would love to help, or support if I can, and perhaps become friends with some of you as well. My best advice to all of you...EDUCATE YOURSELF. Find out as much information on your own, use the tools available to you, friends, the internet, the library. MAKE LISTS. Lists of things you need to do today, lists of things you need to know, lists of goals you have for your future. GET ORGANIZED. Get some manilla folders, some legal pads, some envelopes, some labels. Surround yourself with the people you WANT in your life, not the people who just happen to still be there. All of the above things will help you TAKE CONTROL. And that is the most important part of the recovery process.

If you need me, I'm here...

Have a good day...Andie