A funny story...

My STBX came to the house to talk about a couple of things, we stood in the kitchen, talked about what we needed to discuss and then he got ready to leave. I started walking over to him to kiss him goodbye, just as I had done for 22 years! Thank God I caught myself, and now we just "high-five" each other when we part, but Marriage is an addiction. Something you have done, everyday for 20 years, and like an addict, you need to break that addiction. One thing as I said in my original post is to think about you, your plans, your goals, your needs, your interests. Take care of you, begin taking actions on your own behalf. Another thing is when you are with him, plan what you are going to say ahead of time, think it through and control the conversation and the situation. Pretty soon, your thinking AND your behavior will follow, putting YOU first and foremost in YOUR thoughts, automatically.