Jenn-

I totally hear what you are saying. It is hard to come home to an empty house and not have anybody.

You said, "I guess I just feel like I will be alone forever...why haven't I met someone." The pain from a D is pretty horrendous. Of course you want it to go away. Of course you want to wake up from this like it was a bad dream. And it feels like it will take forever.... and that the pain will NEVER go away.

I honestly don't know what to tell you. I'm in the middle of it too, and the pain is horrendous at times. But the pain has subsided SOME.

Oddly, even the stbx is feeling the pain of being alone too. She texted me the other day saying that she was really sorry for withdrawing into her computer or a novel for so many evenings, and that she now understands how lonely I must have felt.

So, I guess we all go through it. I NEVER thought my stbx would go through it since she was all about her solitude. ;(