I know exactly how you feel and last night was especially hard because I spent most of the day with my stbx. He came to see me and my new home and we had a lovely day together, went to lunch, took the dog for a walk on a trail, talked a lot, we both cried, especially him when he left. Now, he dumped me, so I still don't understand the tears. He won't or can't explain them to me.

Then last night I talked to a man that I met online who I'm actually meeting in person today. And until the day with stbx, I was really excited about meeting him. Now I don't give a hoot. I realized yesterday how much I still love my stbx and really wanted him to be with me last night. I don't know if I will ever be ready to allow another man into my life and so I'm afraid that I will have many lonely nights too.

I know that time heals,and all that, and it has gotten easier, but today, instead of being excited about meeting new guy, I'm just missing old guy. No contact doesn't work for us. We really are very good friends. I just still want it to be more than that. I feel so sad this morning.