Well, he has replaced his wife of twenty years with friends he met a year ago. He was in the Navy and I stayed by him through some tough times as well as him staying by me through some tough times. I've gotten comfortable with not having to really worry about bills and such, as his paycheck would cover the basics. I am really afraid of losing that stability and that is what has been keeping me in a loveless, passionless marriage so long. Now we have acreage in AL, which is from my family. I do not want him to get this, yet I don't want my kids to lose what is rightfully theirs. The payments are too much for me to make with getting half his retirement plus my income. I mention me getting half his military retirement because we were married 18 of his 20+ years. I do believe I'll get custody of the children because of his absenteeism of late. Will I get child support? What about alimony, because I only make $200.00 a week? I consider myself separated because we live seperate lives - he as a bachelor and I as a single mother of two, although in the same house. Does it matter who contacts a lawyer first? If he moves out, what about the bills in this house? Now I wonder about "'til death us do part". I made this vow to God and want this to work, but his (my "husbands")earthly actions are unredeamable. Is God testing me? Is God taking from me? I want to be happy, and everything about my life is happy, except for the time with him. It's just that first step into the unknown that I wonder about. Thank you for "listening" and any replys are much appreciated.