[quote]I don't know if your state is one of those that considers college as something you can force the other parent to contribute to. Most do not. Your best bet, since he's not addressing it, is to hold out for the maximum spousal maintenance/alimony award possible and put a large portion of that aside on your own in case he fails to contribute to their school when the time comes, and of course work very hard to make certain he keeps a fun relationship with the kids through thier lives till they're starting school so that he feels involved enough that he will naturally contribute to thier school even if it's NOT because you forced him to do it.

Generally, it's a bad setup for the relationship between parent & child for the poorer parent to be able to tell the child that hse forced the richer parent to contribute to their college, and that the kid doesn't have to stay in contact or even discuss college with the other parent becasue that's been taken care of. BUT if the richer parent voluntarily agrees to do it, such that the poorer parent can't make those kinds of implications in the gazillions of opportunities that will come their way over the lives of the children, then it's good for the parents who are able to do so, to start a college fund for the kid.

On the other hand, if there are zero college funds accumulated during the marriage, if you always spent everything & never saved for college, then why do you think that he should be required to start saving for college now?

I'm not saying I disagree with you, but I'm giving you the higher earner's NCP's perspective on this and this would be part of the explanation of why most states are not requiring college to be resolved by the parents at the time of divorce, leaving it to each individual parent at the time of college.

There are some bond & scholarship options that only exist if one or the other parent is not contributing, and it's often a good idea to make the kid be responsible for discussing it with the parents each separately to find out his budget/scholarship/loan options. [/quote]

On the flip side, it isn't fair for the parent making less money to have to foot the entire bill because the parent making more money refuses to.

Fortunately for my kids, I live in a state that does take college into consideration. And has been addressed in my court order.

And even if the original poster doesn't live in a state that does take college into consideration, and more states are starting to do this so it's real hard to say most don't, that doesn't mean that it can't be addressed in the settlement agreement and included in the agreement.

Just think of what the parents can tell the child, we thought college was so important that we made sure that both of us contributed to you going.