the part where you listed all his obligations interested me. I was told here in PA that for the support prior to divorce, they will take my wifes income from mine and multiply by .40. And she gets that period. It's whats in the PA law and she showed me the rule. Post divorce is what is negotiable.

hopefully NY has some kind of law like that for your immediate relief.

I also found it interesting that you werent properly served and were told it doesnt matter. My unprofessional opinion is that it does matter since my atty said any adult in the world can serve my wife EXCEPT me...so my atty will send it registered mail and i will have to drive her to the PO to sign for it since she cant drive.

i agree with the above post that you cant stop the D and i had just asked on this board why people contest to begin with then? They said it's to drag it out and get more money. My theory was that a judge will not force people to stay together when one doesnt want to be together and certainly it cant be healthy if one really wants to leave. As much as you want him to stay, think about what he has done to you and from your posting here he's not being a very caring husband.

my wife reminded me of the in sickness thing and the vow but unfortunately that is not an iron clad reason to use to keep a marriage together. Plus in my case i felt she didnt live up to the vow of being a wife either and was negligent.

After all you have written do you really want to stay with your husband? and do you think he will change?