[quote]
She was a stay at home lazy *ss mom for about 14-15 yrs of it. [quote]

being a stay at home mom is not an easy job. Have you ever tried to take care of a home and children full time? Or, did she do it all? I'm not taking up for her, just reminding you of this.

[quote] But like, I imagine, probably every other guy on here it galls me to think about paying SS. [quote]

There are many WOMEN on this site who are appalled to think that their husband is requesting SS. Mine is. And he's perfectly capable of earning over $65K a year!

[quote] I've been killing myself for her and now I have to continue to do so and reap no benefits!? I would also like to know if maintaining my lifestyle is even taken into consideration. [quote]

Welcome to the wonderful world of divorce. Sorry you're here.

[quote] Kentucky (where we live) is a no fault state, but I think I understand that fault can/might be taken into consideration in regards to SS. I have some evidence, possibly enough to establish guilt. [quote]

Doing this could increase your attorney fees substantially, and add fuel to her already burning fire. I would steer clear of finger pointing if you want to get out of this divorce with some dignity and some $$.

[quote] I just wonder if I would do any better to get a high dollar attorney and try to beat this SS? [quote]

She can ask for anything she wants, but that doesn't mean she will get it. You did have a long marriage, and will probably have to pay some SS. You can push for a limited amount of time to have to pay SS. Maybe several years until she gets herself on her feet.

[quote] Oh and yes I have schedule a therapist to help me deal with all these emotions and I see my GP this afternoon regarding my BP, etc…but thanks. [/quote]

Excellent plan. Therapists are indispensable in these situations. I'm glad to see you're taking care of yourself, because that's the most important thing you can do for yourself right now.

I would get recommendations on a good attorney and hire them. Then you need to decide what is most important for you to come out of this divorce with (money, house, no SS, child support, whatever is your goal) and plan your case around that. You won't get everything you want, but can usually negotiate to get the one thing that's most important to you.