OK, good that the divorce is on it's way, but it's on hold pending some investigation?

I guess part of my concern was that you seemed more interested in getting the name right on the birth certificate, and there's a whole lot of reasons for the husband to be what they call the "putative' father (hte one on the birth certificate & officially the father) when a child is born & the people are not divorced, so I guess part of my concern is that being frustrated about that part of the bureaucracy is not effective...

Now I'm not certain the renunciation of paternity would work, but one thing I know you could do is to file a separate case for determination of paternity, termination of parental rights against your husband, and a determination of paternity & support/adoption against your boyfriend... You might even be able to do the two things simultaneously in the same case and have the husband renounce paternity at the same time as the boyfriend accepts it and the court would be all happy that there is an adult male who agrees to accept responsibility for the baby now and forever and it would be a done deal. It's a filing fee & a pain in the neck, but if someone ever says the renuncation of paternity is not enough, you can just go through the formal court process of determining paternity officially (no need for a DNA test if neither father says they want it), and have it decided in court once & for all.

On the other hand, if all you want is stuff like insurance & certainty that the husband won't decide to show up & try to be a father to the kid just to mess with you, then there are ways to do that which don't necessarily involve changing anything on the birth certificate, and I guess you've figured most of that out. Like talking to his employer.

Some employers, if there's no marriage, will even allow YOU on his insurance as a life partner, though most will disagree with doing this is there's a current marriage partner in the picture... they don't much want ot accept responsibility for people who are alerady covered by someone else's insurance, you know?

I'll bet you both are anxious to get the divorce over with. What's the hold up on that? I'd think after a year that someone would have at least given you a DATE to resolve it.

I'm kind of a stickler on getting the paperwork of divorce over with becasue I met a man once who asked me out and ... well, when we met, I was not aware, and no one in our group was aware, that he was still married. He'd been living here for like 5 years and he talked about his Ex who lived a thousand miles away. I only found out that she was not officially his ex after we were several months into our dating.

It was an odd situation, he seemed to think it made no difference, but apparently his wife was calling from time to time, thinking that things would resolve themselves and they'd maybe get back together. As soon as I knew he was still MARRIED and apparently his wife was also hanging on, there was no way I was going to contninue to date him... but like I said, we were several months into dating so it was kind of awkward. He didn't know how to file or where, and couldn't figure out what to do with the property he'd left back there (like, DUH... at this point you've abandoned it)... and he was upset at losing her insurance and having to give up part of his retirement account. And she had apparently run up a lot of debt in his absence and now he had to pay for it. There were a lot of little surprises along the way to his getting divorced. I was no longer dating him at that point but I heard all about it because we're part of the same social circle.

What I never understood was why he didn't get it up front that he really needed to FINISH this, to take the steps to do so, before trying to move onto the next stage of his life. Like what was he hoping to do with me? Move in without a commitment? Not a chance. Mingle financial futures when he was still tied to someone who was running up his debt? RIIIIIGHT. Impress my family as someone who could or should become a welcome guest when he's still got a WIFE in another state? Oh yeah, right. That'll work.

He had thought it was just a stupid little piece of paper, and when it came down to it, GETTING that piece of paper seemed overwhelming & full of trouble. In the process, it seemed he'd lost half of everything he bragged about having accumulated in his life. Not that THINGS matter to me, but when he says, "I own this and I'm That far saved up for retirement", I did not expect that he was hoping to cut off some other woman's own future in order to KEEP the whole amount he was claiming he owned & had saved. It FELT... well, wrong. And over time I came to the realization that he had handled his separation from his wife the way he handled other things in life... generally negligent. And that was not what I wanted in my own life.

So I'm a little quick to the trigger when I hear of people talking of moving on before a divorce so casually. I think it's definitely worth always mentioning things like that the divorce has been filed and is hung up, and things such as that, because there are too many people out there who take these things way too casually. It's clear now that you are NOT one of those, but I'd hate for people to read what you have to say and then point at it & say, "see, this is normal, everyone does it", and then use that to justify ignoring their own paperwork in life... well, in a way, my boyfriend several years ago did just that. He looked around him, saw that others were doing this (at least that's what he thought, becasue people don't tell the whole story, like you didn't at first), and just used it as an excuse for his being negligent in his own paperwork.

So. Has your lawyer given you a clue how long you're going ot have to wait on this?