Taryn, have you noticed that your time getting REALLY angry over this and having it blow over is getting shorter and shorter? And of course YOU are currently dealing with kids who are feeling bad because their Dad is not involved. This guy, I get the feeling his lack of involvement in finalizing a divorce has nothing to do with a lack of concern about his kids... and his girlfriend's attempt to find a way to help is really more about caring about him and wanting to minimize the effect of her presence on him & his kids, than it is of her actively interfering in his life.

It's a fine line and easy to cross, though. I find I stay on the right side of the line when I let HIM do all the talking to the kids and dealing with the ex, because whenever I am present (even though she has zero reason to resent me other than that it takes her moneybag away from her to have him interested in life again), she becomes a total witch... not that she isn't already, but she looks for new ways to separate him from the kids when she sees me... so I don't go to pick them up, I don't go to the door to say goodbye when they leave... it' takes work to try to help while staying totally in the background...