I don't discuss the promises with the kids that their dad makes...I try to change the subject or just give unemotional type of responses such as "that's nice" instead of getting excited with them or asking questions about an event.
When my 13 year old was little, his dad used to send letters filled with all sorts of promises that I knew were bull...c'mon you haven't seen the kid in months, can't pay the child support, have claimed bankruptcy & fraudulently claimed child on your income tax but your going to bring him 1500 miles to DisneyWorld? My son couldn't read yet and I told ex that if he was going to fill the letters with such crap then he could send them to his parents to read to the kids cause I wasn't going to.
Now the older ones are old enough to know that a promise from their dads really isn't a promise...and I carefully word activities that I hope to do with them as I don't want to promise something I can't deliver either. The 8 year old turns maybe's into Yes's but I think that's both part of his age and his disorders.
I don't hurt for money, but I'm still not going to spoil my kids rotten to make up for the dissapointments from their dads...I'm about life lessons and I think that's a very good lesson to learn about life, it's sometimes dissappointing and you can learn to lift yourself up from that or you can wallow in self-pity.