"I just dont' understnad why everyone doesn' want this for their own kid and figure out how to put their own feeligns about the adult issues aside to make room for the kid's interests."

This is truly what I'd like to accomplish. However, in making the various attempts in the past year to do the right things for the right reasons in a co-parenting capacity as much as possible, I find the manipulation and control issues of the X are more prevalent than ever.

Realizing my OWN need to take responsibility for my own actions (inclusive of both being the perp and the victim in my marraige), where do I get to reclaim that part of who I am - the one who IS in control of me? Does my cheating/perpetration set the stage that he gets to control and manipulate me until she's emancipated? I think not.