She sent you the message who the alpha dog is - YOU.

If my X would back down a bit with his relentless efforts to inflict punishment, he'd get the same message from my BF - that HE is the alpha dog of male role models in our daughter's life. Instead, he's letting his bitterness drive the bus and is setting himself up to be the one she appreciates less.

Been there. Done that. I love my Dad, and don't want to discount his role in ANY way, but my stepdad modeled unconditional love more consistently.