I guess my goal would be to establish a line of communication with the demon-dad. Just for the sake of your children. Suck it up and talk to him. Let him know that you are willing to do what it takes for him to have time with them, that you want your children to to have a Dad, but that they need some comfort level when they are with him. Maybe you have to shoulder some of the "blame" just for the kids' sake. Say that you are just more in tune to thier emotions, being the Mom, although he is a good dad. Tell him how they(kids) feel and ask that he re-evaluate his reactions just so the kids will want to be with him. I'll tell you, I would do whatever it takes, within reason, to make my kids less miserable, if the situation allows it. But with men, you have to make them feel good about themselves......and about their parenting skills. His outbursts are probably a sign of insecurity - you were probably the leader in "parenting" before the divorce. He may not have a clue. No matter how difficult, you need to boost his ego as a parent and pretend to be on his side. This will probably allow him to let his guard down and play fair. He just wants to be accepted as a dad and is doing the macho thing right now. Good luck. 'Just my opionion and you know what they say about "opinions".