[quote]All you're discussing is the clothing. Not what kind of mother you are.[quote]

This is about the most important thing I think anyone has said so far on this thread.

Taryn, you are a good mother. Don't let him make you feel differently just because you can't dress them up a whole lot nicer. I know you're used to the kids going to summer camp and having everythign that a high-middle income can provide, and it's possible that some of your feeling of self-worth as a mother may be wrapped up in providing, organizing, managing this type of lifestyle... I'm getting this from other posts as well as this one... I want you to know that your mothering skills have nothign to do wtih being able to juggle which camp they can go to based upon the camp's schedule, which electronics they can own based upon how many high speed internet connects you have in your hosue... and a whole lot more to do with the fact that you can find things for them to do and learn from WHETHER OR NOT you can afford the extra camps, extra electronics or extra clothing.

Cutting down is hard, but it does not signify cutting back your worth as a mother. I would like your self-worth to grow to match your REAL worth now. Your REAL worth is in managing through this tough time without breaking the bank, and that means nto providing good outfits for every event thier dad decides to take them to... so their Dad, if he's such a wonderful dad that he wants to take them to this wonderful event, he's goign to have to be wonderful enough to provide them with the clothign that matches teh event....

And his being wonderful enough to provide all this stuff doesn't make you any LESS wonderful for being unable to afford it. I'm thinking maybe you are MORE wonderful for trying, for figuring out how to manage WITHOUT. For TRYING to find a way to help him do what he wants even if you can't afford it.

It's only a STYLE of clothing, not your worth as a mother which is being discussed here! Just calmly explain to him that you'll send the best the kids have, but he'll have to supplement it with... shoes & whatever, because they've grown out of thier last good pair & you couldn't afford new. This is NOT tragedy... it's contact, and a pain in the butt... but it is NOT something to dread.

Use it as an opportunity to PRACTICE the cold, businesslike manner that you'll need to negotiate these things with him for the rest of the kid's childhoods.

Call him today and let him know that the kids don't have enough clothing that fits that will be good enough for his event, so he'll have to get some for them, but you'll send along what they've got. And let us know how ti works out.