Are you going to let him have your son for the 4th? If he gives up his parenting time, is there a set time limit for this to take place so changes can't be made again at the last minute? I agree that using the children as pawns makes for a lousy childhood and can warp a child's sense of what real life should be like.

We don't have a formal visitation agreement, yet, but we've had our share of stbx saying he'll take our son at a specific time, and then backing out at the last minute. I make him tell our son when he's backing out so I'm not the bad guy, and if dad changes his mind, our son will know it's not me that's screwing around.

You might as well let him go with his dad on the 4th since it is his scheduled time. and next time, if dad doesn't want him for a weekend, maybe make dad tell your son. If dad has to be held accountable directly to his son, it might make him think twice before messing with everyone's heads. You shouldn't have to be the buffer that takes all the mind games.

What is wrong with these people?? Is your x under medical care for his depression?