I haven't logged on for a long time, but when I seen your post my heart went out to you. I have been divorced for almost three years now. I have sole custody of my children, one of them now an adult. My children also chose not to see their father because of the things he said and did. My ex fits many of the narcissistic tendencies and has been diagnosed with OCD. Anyway, my children still do not have a relationship with their father. They have tried to talk with him about their feelings regarding the divorce, his treatment of all of us during the process and after and also his marriage to the then 18 year-old girl (who tried to be with our oldest son (he was 18 as well) at the same time she was seeing my then husband). Only to be told things such as "I don't live my life for you." and "It's about my happiness, I have a right to be happy".

Anyway, my heart goes out to you and your children, it has been a difficult journey for my children and me. They are now 21, 17 and 12. It has been very much the rollercoaster. My children actually coped with the whole thing much better than I did. Life is better than it was and it has steadily gotten better each passing year.

Words of advice.... Do not try to fix the relationship between your ex and your children, I tried because I truly believed they needed that relationship and felt bad for my ex that he didn't get to see his children. But time and time again, he proved by his actions and his words that he was more interested in himself than he was in having a relationship with them. I was the last one to see him for who and what he really became.

Be responsible for your relationship with your children. Let him be responsible for his.