Taryn and Gigi - THANK YOU.
I hadn't realized until getting your replies how much I have needed 'help'. (I cried!)It is really great to know there are others 'out there' that have been through this and gotten out the other side (well done Taryn!!)
I was seriously wavering over forcing her to go but I can see how important it is now - hope my STBX will be OK with it too.
Thanks.