Yeah, kids are much better able to handle it if there's a schedule. And talk to him about how this needs to not be thier "choice"... because as parents you simply don't let some things open to choice... whether or not they're allowed to drink alcohol, for example... not a choice. Whether or not they're allowed to stay up till midnight... not a choice... whether or not to go on the family vacation... NOT a choice... whether or not to do homework... whether or not to see thier Dad.

NOT choices.

Simply stuff tehy must do even if they're being stubborn or lazy. I cant' tell you how many times the kids woudl ratehr just sit in front of the TV and veg out than stand up & go to the door, get in the other parents' car and go to the OTHER parents' house to veg out... but they MUST, it's not a choice. They may have all kinds of excuses, that they don't like the chores here or there, that they don't like what's for dinner, whatever... if you LET them make the excuse as if it's a choice, as if they are allowed to have a say in this matter... well, they'll just use the hell out of both of you, they'll stay with him when they're mad at you and stay with you when they're mad at him. If either of you has to discipline the kids, the otehr willb ecome their temporary hero... divide & conquer is the name of the game... IF you're not careful to prevent it.

You're on the right track now, keep travelling that path.

Consistency, a regular schedule that the kids can come to expect... Monday & Tuesday we go home to Dad's Wed & Thursday to Mom's, every other weekend with every other parent... EASY... Mom takes them to ballet on Wed, Dad takes them to piano lessons on Tuesday, and both parents show up for the soccer games on Saturdays to cheer them on. If there's a rhythm to it, they get it and start to look forward to it. At your house they'll get lasagna, and at his maybe meatloaf... maybe Friday nights with him are always takeout pizza, a real treat... and you treat them on YOUR sundays with Ice cream & a movie. You each get something, they get the advantage of a full relationship with BOTH parents, and you each as adults get enough free time to have a real life again before the kids are 18.